Gratitude, Cookies and #BewbLuv
April 11th, 2012
I do not have the words adequate enough to express my thanks and my gratitude for the amazing support and friendships y’all have shown me since my little announcement. Trust me, I have checked both my thesauruses and neither wielded the words sufficient enough! So, please accept my simple Thank You!!
and, I received…..
On the heels of my announcement, I’ve decided that in following in the footsteps of chronicling all my major events on Twitter, we need a hashtag (Yes, I am a TwitterAddict), several twitter conversations, couple of texts and consulting with the Elusive Teen…. #BewbLuv has arrived!! ‘Tis true, I do lurve my bewbs and it’s time to get them fixed and all better before Summer and bikini season!!
I realize Cancer is scary! I also, know it is awkward and uncomfortable, that people don’t know what to say or what to do! Well, it’s doubly so for me, it’s horrible to share all of this with you. Not because y’all aren’t wonderful, coz you really are but because, I don’t like this focus on me, I am uncomfortable. So, why am I doing this, why am I being so open with something that makes me cross-eyed and terrifying? I’d like to say that I am all noble and selfless, but really, I’m not… I’m going to need y’all and I refuse to cower and sob in the corner, even if I do have my fav Princess blankie. I’m scared and worried. That being said, I’m also, sharing all of this coz I am not the only person in this place. I am not the only woman who has been dealt this card. I will share all the down and dirty in the hopes that perhaps I can comfort someone or even help. Maybe just maybe, I can ease the mind of someone else, that perhaps my words will lend strength to someone.
Soooo, y’all will be getting all the down and dirty, mostly…. there will be no pics!! And, I have elicited promises from a few people to make sure that I am electronic free while drugged up!! I kno, that takes out all the fun, rite?? Don’t worry, I assure you there will be shenanigans and antics galore!! For one thing, I am hoping to gain a few more foursquare mayorships out of this ( I will be changing the names of all my doctors), I am anticipating some good drugs and maybe even a few days where my Mommy cooks my favourite meals for me ( There will be foodie pics)!!
Now, the UPDATE…. I got nothing. No, really… turns out you can’t just call a boobie doctor and say “Hey, I haz a sick bewb, can u fit me in next Tuesday before lunch and golf” I am SHOCKED!!! The problem is I don’t have health insurance. And, while I know Doctors won’t work for free, mostly, I didn’t realize there are other factors. Other factors, like having a referral, finding out if a doctor is well versed in the latest technology and medical stuff and knowing which questions to ask. I do, have a referral, and the doctor I went to for the diagnosis is utterly fantastic!! There is a program (I’m to young for most of the programs that assist woman with breast cancer, we aren’t even going to start in on the fact that it’s utterly ridiculous that 40 is the magic number to get breast cancer since obviously you don’t have to be 40 to get it!!) that will help me and yesterday after a minor tech challenge, I was enrolled and given a surgeon. Great rite? Yes and no…. see I can look up the surgeon and learn about her education and how long she has been in practice, I can also, see that she is not specifically a breast surgeon, that her main practice is general surgery. That makes me nervous. I am going to go speak with her, at the sage advice of my friend. But, I’m afraid, concerned that just because I don’t have health insurance perhaps that maybe I’ll not get the best care. There is also, the fear that maybe I am not asking the right questions, since I am certain there are more questions I should be asking other than “What kind of drugs do I get and When can I wear my bikini” Yes, people, I am vain enough to be concerned about how I am going to look. I realize this is a secondary issue but it’s still niggling at me*!!!
Also, I have a wonderful friend, who has stepped up and is checking on getting me help from a top doctor in NY. I have options, I know this. I am waiting, since that seems to be all I can do and I am staying off Google, it’s possible, I may have wine, too. I am ok, well, mostly… special thanks to the time spent on the phone yesterday with two different friends that held my hand while I experienced my minor meltdown. I fully expect to be on the mend no later then the beginning of May, as I have major plans for both May and June!! I will be in Chicago at SOBCon in May and in June after the Elusive Teen graduates from high school, we ( the kids & I) will be moving to New York!! I’m looking for suggestions as to where to live and also, a 3 bedroom place… so if anyone knows of a good place, please holler!!
* Thanks for all the offers from my friends who have offered to visually check my bewbs after surgery, I realize the huge sacrifice you are making and appreciate that you are ready to assure me, my girls are still gorgeous!!