Last week, I went for my first chemo appointment. I thought I knew what to expect, thought I was prepared and thought I was ready… I was so wrong.
The transfusion center was nice, the people that worked there so very sweet. I was tagged (it’s actually really cool, not only are your meds visually confirmed against orders but you are given a bar code & it’s scanned against the meds as well. Double check) and introduced to my own Nurse. They do try really hard to make you comfortable, even in a sterile, no fun environment. My Nurse (I’m totally claiming her, coz she got my wacked sense of humour) told me what she was goin to do and then prepped my Smart Port to become bionic!!
The WiFi worked like a champ! For me, that was the best part. See, I was a lot scared. I had all of you, my twitter & facebook support to laugh and watch as 5 different meds were pumped into my body. Including, The Red Devil, I can’t take credit for that name, it was tweeted to me. After my week, totally appropriate!!
Dr. B, The Fab Nurse and all the reading I had done had listed out all the possible side effects, the possibilities of what could happen. In actuality what did happen… was only a portion of that and in some cases the exact opposite!!
When I came home, instead of being amped on the steriods, I was acky in all my joints, I was having hot flashes and cold sweats. And then, I slept. At 7pm. Waking the next morning with the nausea and vomiting. That I didn’t expect. I was told it would take a few days for the Red Devil to hit my system. That I would feel ok, the first day out…
Noooooo…. I was sick, beyond sick and exhausted. It was like the meds had sucked every little bit of energy and sass out of me, slapped me around and then kicked my ass. For the next 2days all I did was restlessly sleep while it felt like my body burned and exploded from the inside out. I was able to sip sprite and water. I tried Jell-O and Applesauce. Nothing was able to stay down nor was I able to stay up.
Friday, I started to come around. I was able to have dry toast. 1/2 a piece. It’s the small things. After another nap. I was able to eat the rest. Ohhh, mebbe I was I getting a little better.
It’s now Sunday morning, I’m going to sip my first cup of coffee. Did I mention that coffee was a total no-go all week. I’m not sure which was sadder, that I didn’t miss it or that I didn’t even want it. Yesterday, I was able to be awake for at least 2hours before I had to nap. My brain started to work a little less fuzzily and more coherently. WooT!!!
This upcoming week is my “off” week. I go in to get my white blood cells tapped and injected with some Go-Boost to help boost my immunity a little. See, the Red Devil is going to kill everything in my system and then some. I don’t see him again until the following week, he and I will dance 5 more times over the next few months. To be honest, I am doubting my capability to go through this 5 more times, I know that I must and that I will… I am afraid though, from this point on it’s going to get uglier.
I know a positive attitude and knowing that this will be over soon will be more beneficial then anything I can do. Here is where, I’m going to ask for your help, again. I don’t want much… a little understanding when I’m not online for a few days at a time, I will try to check in. A lot of you can skype or text me and have been, thank you. Please be understanding if I don’t answer right away and please, pretty please don’t stop. The “Treatment” weeks are going to turn me into more Lurker then Participant, I realize this and have almost-grinding-teeth-accepted this. (For those of you that don’t know me, I don’t do well with limitations) and please understand, my brain is a lot slow.
My first dance with the Red Devil was as horrid and awkward as stepping back in time to my first boy-girl dance in 6th grade and resulted in the same frustrations… tears, agony and vomiting!!